What Is He Going To Do Now?
ALL EYE’S ON ME
After the MURDER of my little brother on Feb 27th, the biggest question on the minds of many is, what is he going to do now? A Corporal with the National Guard Youth Challenge Program, told a very close friend of mine, that “all eyes are on Silky”. People are waiting to see how this ordeal will affect my life and the mission I have been pushing for so long. My best friend even called from the state pen at Angola and told me convicts were placing bets on whether this is going to bring me back to the place from which I had grown up, the streets. He tried his best to assure me that he had pled my case. That he had let them know that my faith in GOD and my passion for the mission to “Stop The Killing” would not allow me to turn back to the cold hearted place that I had escaped.
After hearing what he had to say, it seemed as if he was trying to convince me about what I shouldn’t do, instead of convincing them of what I wasn’t going to do.Then the closer I got to the streets, I could hear the streets talking, oh so clearly, “Yea, is it time to Stop The Killing now or is the old Silky coming out of retirement? What is he going to do?”
I have spent restless nights, wrestling with this very issue. Will I allow these ignorant individuals with little, if any respect for the life and the rights of others, to pull me off my mission? Or will I continue to try and reach those that are lacking knowledge and awareness, walking around in a unconscious state of mind?
I wish I could tell you that this has been a very easy obstacle to overcome, but it most definitely has not. In fact, this has become one of the biggest challenges and tests, if not the biggest, in my entire life. I, for one, understand the lack of self-respect and improper teachings.
I know this because I was a product of that environment as well. I ran these slave-making streets for 22 years of my life; mad at the world and doing things without thinking or feeling. I suppressed the feelings that came due to my own lack of knowledge, and became a product of my environment, as we like to call it. I watched many people die. I did a lot of unpleasing things in the sight of my Creator. I was ashamed of what I had become, but God still saved me for this divine purpose. I didn’t understand that if I loved myself as GOD loves us, and knew that I was worthy of great things, I would then be capable of doing great things.
We are living in a time when people will kill each other for pocket change. We are living in an age marked by violence and senseless killings. Our youth are lost and in dire need of direction. Poison is being fed to them from the “devilvision” and other sources of media and entertainment that they strongly rely on daily. The family structure has been torn down. We have to get back to basics. Self-reflection is the beginning.
It takes a strong person to look at the man in the mirror. Our youth must realize that what they hate in others often starts with what they hate in themselves. They have to know that they are examples of greatness. They have to want it. Breathe it… and feel it in their veins. I am by no means perfect, but I know there is a better way; GOD! If he saved me, think of what he can do for them too.
I have spent the last five and a half years traveling the country, giving lectures, seminars, workshops and speaking engagements. I have spoken at some of the most prestigious universities and colleges in the world. Doing this has been one of the best experiences of my entire life. I have seen many places and greeted many people. I’ve been able to speak to some of the most famous people in the world about the violence and senseless killings that are taking place in the urban communities.
Most individuals who commit these crimes come from dysfunctional households or from broken families. Keep in mind, most dysfunctional families limit expressions of feelings, and youth have learned either to express their feelings inappropriately, or have become conditioned to solve their problems with violence.
Growing up, I became a very violent person with many behavioral issues. I’m sure if I had gone to a psychiatrist and asked why I behaved in such a manner, they would say it had a lot to do with my environment. This could be true, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be that way. I often wonder if there’s really a way for any individual to study another person’s behavioral habits and come up with a real explanation of one’s behavior. It is my honest opinion that this may never really truthfully be able to be done. Because we as humans cannot read each other’s minds and see what caused one to commit such an act.
Now I can, on the other hand, study different behavioral patterns and come up with a synopsis as to why I believe a person has been behaving in a certain manner. But at the end of the day, I don’t think anyone can actually pinpoint why someone has reacted to something in a certain way. Please let’s keep in mind that this is only my opinion, meaning this is only my view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge. At any rate, I truly believe it is time we wake up and stop screaming “Black Lives Matter” and show the world that we matter to each other, by stopping the killing of each other.
So the next time you hear that question, “What am I going to do now?” You tell the person asking that question, I’m going to keep fighting to stop the violence and senseless killings that are plaguing our communities… I’m going to “PUSH” Pray Until Something Happens, to bring my brothers’ killers to justice. What am I going to do now? I am going to keep working, no matter how many hateful comments I have read… for those are the same devils I pray to GOD to let me see, if not help push into HELL!! Oh in no way will I allow my brothers’ death to stop me from pushing the mission…
STOP THE KILLING! In fact, I will use this as fuel to carry on. Peace